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It must be morning； I’m hungry. I can hear the shower and feel the sun on my back， so I’m guessing the Boss is awake. I lift my head off my bed and look down the passage. I want a shower too. Sometimes I try and get in but he won’t let me. Boring. He’s not so happy in the mornings any more. He used to be， but things have changed. I think it’s stress.
Not really sure what that is， but I know it’s not good. It’s a human thing. I’ve heard him talk about it on the phone. Don’t really know what a phone is either， but I know they’re good to chew. Chewing’s one of my favourite things.
In the old days we wrestled every morning. He’d pull my ears and I’d jump on his head. Before he went to work， we’d play ball. After work too. He’d throw， I’d fetch. He’d throw， I’d fetch. What an amazing game. Such fun. He’d laugh and talk human. I’d growl.
But lately he seems grumpy.
Sometimes， I wonder if he still loves me. I lick him anyway because he’s my favourite human in the world. I get so excited to see him. When he hugs me， my tail wags all by itself. I wonder why my kisses don’t make him happy like they used to.
In the good old days， we would walk to the park every day. We’d hang out with other dogs and humans. I mostly played with Kelvin the fat Labrador and the Boss would laugh with Kelvin’s human； a female who smelled like vanilla.
We don’t walk together much these days. And when we do， he talks on the phone. I hate that phone. I’m gonna eat it when he’s not looking.
I liked it more when we lived in the first house. The little one. I loved that place. He was happier and he didn’t yell at me for getting on the couch， chewing his shoes. We used to watch TV together on the couch every night. Well， I slept， he watched. He would rest his hand on my head. I like that.
Now we live in a big house， with a big stupid couch. A stupid couch for humans only. Not dogs. I don’t like the big house or the big couch. He makes me stay down on the stupid slippery polished floor boards. The other day I slid into the table and hurt my nose. Stupid floor boards.
When I was a puppy we used to go everywhere together. We would both ride in the old station wagon and I would put my head out the window， or on his lap. It was the most fun ever. I don’t know why humans don’t do it. Head out the window， that is. Don’t they know？
No more head out the window action for me these days though. Mr. Serious has a new fancy car. Apparently， it’s a dog-free zone too. On the rare occasion that I do get a ride， I have to lie on three blankets. And no wind in my face. What’s the point of that？ Like having a bone you can’t chew. Stupid. We used to go to the beach every weekend in that old station wagon. We surfed together. Well， he surfed， I chased seagulls， played in the waves and rolled in the sand. On the way home I would put my wet， sandy， hairy body on the front seat and he was happy I was next to him. I loved that car too. Those were the days. We haven’t done that since I was four. Five years ago.
Too busy apparently. Too busy being successful and important to have fun with me. Glad I’m not successful， it doesn’t look like much fun.
He’s rarely happy these days. And he’s always too tired to do anything， even when I pull his sleeve， or lick his face. If he got rid of the stupid slippery floor， the dumb couch， the dumb car and played with me more， then he would be happy. Me too.
I used to sleep on the end of his bed. Used to （heavy sigh）. But now he has a new dog-free bed too. Of course. It’s expensive and apparently I moult. Whatever that means. I hate that bed. I chew the legs when he’s not around.
Next year we’re moving to another house. A bigger one. Maybe that will make him happy. Hope so. Doubt it though. If I could speak， I’d tell him that too. I don’t get the big house thing； there’s only him and me. Us dogs don’t really care how big our kennel is， we just want to be near our human.
Anyway， I’m very excited about today. I’m gonna hang out with Charlie for a while. He’s my buddy from over the fence. We do fun stuff together every day. Mostly we chase birds. I hate those birds. And we chew old lady Jacobs’ laundry baskets. We’ve eaten three of them.
Then I might lie in the sun， and chew my foot for a while. I might have a power-nap too. Chasing birds makes me tired.
I reckon the Boss should lie in the sun with me， and chew his foot for a while. It’s relaxing. It might help with his stress. Whatever that is.
現在一定是早上；我饿了。我听到有人洗澡的声音，感到阳光照在我的背上，所以我猜老大已经醒了。我把头伸到床边，朝走廊望去。我也想洗个澡。有时，我会想办法进去，但是他不会让我这样做的。真无趣。现在的早上他不像以前那么开心了，一切都变了。我想这都是因为压力。
其实我并不清楚压力是什么，但是我知道那不是什么好东西。那是人类才有的东西。我曾经听他在电话里讲过这个。我其实也不清楚电话是什么，但是我知道那很适合用来咬。咬东西是我最喜欢做的事之一。
以前，我们每天早上都会来一场摔跤比赛。他会扯扯我的耳朵，而我会跳到他的头上去。在他上班前，我们会玩球，他下班后，我们也这么玩。他扔，我接。他扔，我接。多棒的一个游戏，多有趣。他会笑着说人类的话，而我会汪汪地叫着。
但最近，他似乎很暴躁。
有时候，我怀疑他是否还爱着我。无论如何，我都会舔他，因为他是我在这个世界上最喜欢的人类。看到他，我就很激动。当他抱着我时，我的尾巴就会不由自主地摇起来。我很疑惑为什么我的亲吻不能像以前一样让他高兴起来。
在过去那些美好的日子里，我们每天都会去公园散步。我们会和其他狗狗和人类玩。我一般会和凯尔文玩，凯尔文是一只胖胖的拉布拉多，而老大会和凯尔文的主人一起说笑，一个人类的雌性，她身上有股类似香草的味道。
如今，我们很少一起散步了。而且，在我们散步时，他都在讲电话。我讨厌那个电话。我要趁他不注意的时候吃了它。 我更喜欢我们住的第一所房子。那间小房子。我爱那个地方。他那时更快乐，他也不会因为我爬上沙发，或者咬他的鞋子而對我大吼大叫。我们曾经每晚都坐在沙发上看电视。好吧，我在睡觉，看电视的是他。他会把手放在我的头上，我喜欢那样。
现在我们住在一所大房子里，里面有一张笨笨的大沙发。一张只有人类才能坐的蠢沙发，狗是不能坐的。我不喜欢这所大房子，也不喜欢这张大沙发。他让我呆在那该死的光滑发亮的地板上。前几天我滑倒撞到了桌子，弄伤了我的鼻子。该死的地板。
在我小的时候，无论去哪里我们都在一起。我们会一起坐着那辆老旧的旅行车，我会把头伸出窗外，或者靠在他的大腿上。这是最好玩的事情。我不知道为什么人类不这样做。把头伸出窗外。难道他们不知道吗？
但是现在我再也不能把头伸出窗外了。严肃先生有了一辆高档的新车。显而易见，那也是狗不能踏足的地方。就算在极少数的情况下我可以坐进去，我还得躺在三张毯子上。也没有风吹过我的脸。那有什么意思呢？就像得到一块不能咬的骨头一样。蠢透了。
我们以前每个周末都会开着那辆老爷车去沙滩。我们一起冲浪。好吧，他冲浪，我追海鸥、玩海浪、在沙滩上翻滚。回家的路上，我那湿漉漉、毛茸茸、沾满沙子的身体会躺在车子的前座上，而他则为我在他身边而感到高兴。我也很爱那辆车。那些日子真令人怀念。我四岁以后我们就没这么做过了。那是五年前的事了。
他显然是太忙了。忙着享受功成名就的人生而没时间陪我玩。真高兴我没有功成名就，那看起来不太好玩。
他现在很少有快乐的时候，总是一副疲惫不堪，干不了任何事的样子。即使我拉他的袖子，或舔他的脸也无补于事。如果他弄走那愚蠢的滑地板、愚蠢的沙发、愚蠢的车，花多点时间跟我玩，他会开心点的。我也会。
我曾经睡在他的床尾，曾经，唉！但现在他也有了一张狗不得踏足的新床。当然，那床很贵，而我很显然会掉毛。天知道这是什么意思。我讨厌那张床。他不在时，我会咬那张床的床脚。
来年我们会搬去另一所更大的房子。也许那会让他开心点。希望如此吧。虽然我对此感到怀疑。如果我会说话，我也会这样告诉他。我不明白为什么要大房子。我们家只有我和他。我们狗真的不在乎我们的狗窝有多大，我们只想和我们的主人亲近。
无论如何，我今天很兴奋。我会和查理玩一会儿。他是我的好朋友，住在我隔壁。我们每天都会做许多有趣的事情。我们通常会追着小鸟玩。我讨厌那些小鸟。我们还会咬雅各布斯老太太的洗衣篮，我们已经咬了三个了。
然后我会躺着晒太阳，咬一会儿我的脚，也许还会睡个懒觉。追小鸟会让我筋疲力尽。
我觉得老大应该和我一起躺着晒太阳，咬一会儿他的脚。这能让人身心放松。这也许对他的压力有所帮助，无论那是什么。
Not really sure what that is， but I know it’s not good. It’s a human thing. I’ve heard him talk about it on the phone. Don’t really know what a phone is either， but I know they’re good to chew. Chewing’s one of my favourite things.
In the old days we wrestled every morning. He’d pull my ears and I’d jump on his head. Before he went to work， we’d play ball. After work too. He’d throw， I’d fetch. He’d throw， I’d fetch. What an amazing game. Such fun. He’d laugh and talk human. I’d growl.
But lately he seems grumpy.
Sometimes， I wonder if he still loves me. I lick him anyway because he’s my favourite human in the world. I get so excited to see him. When he hugs me， my tail wags all by itself. I wonder why my kisses don’t make him happy like they used to.
In the good old days， we would walk to the park every day. We’d hang out with other dogs and humans. I mostly played with Kelvin the fat Labrador and the Boss would laugh with Kelvin’s human； a female who smelled like vanilla.
We don’t walk together much these days. And when we do， he talks on the phone. I hate that phone. I’m gonna eat it when he’s not looking.
I liked it more when we lived in the first house. The little one. I loved that place. He was happier and he didn’t yell at me for getting on the couch， chewing his shoes. We used to watch TV together on the couch every night. Well， I slept， he watched. He would rest his hand on my head. I like that.
Now we live in a big house， with a big stupid couch. A stupid couch for humans only. Not dogs. I don’t like the big house or the big couch. He makes me stay down on the stupid slippery polished floor boards. The other day I slid into the table and hurt my nose. Stupid floor boards.
When I was a puppy we used to go everywhere together. We would both ride in the old station wagon and I would put my head out the window， or on his lap. It was the most fun ever. I don’t know why humans don’t do it. Head out the window， that is. Don’t they know？
No more head out the window action for me these days though. Mr. Serious has a new fancy car. Apparently， it’s a dog-free zone too. On the rare occasion that I do get a ride， I have to lie on three blankets. And no wind in my face. What’s the point of that？ Like having a bone you can’t chew. Stupid. We used to go to the beach every weekend in that old station wagon. We surfed together. Well， he surfed， I chased seagulls， played in the waves and rolled in the sand. On the way home I would put my wet， sandy， hairy body on the front seat and he was happy I was next to him. I loved that car too. Those were the days. We haven’t done that since I was four. Five years ago.
Too busy apparently. Too busy being successful and important to have fun with me. Glad I’m not successful， it doesn’t look like much fun.
He’s rarely happy these days. And he’s always too tired to do anything， even when I pull his sleeve， or lick his face. If he got rid of the stupid slippery floor， the dumb couch， the dumb car and played with me more， then he would be happy. Me too.
I used to sleep on the end of his bed. Used to （heavy sigh）. But now he has a new dog-free bed too. Of course. It’s expensive and apparently I moult. Whatever that means. I hate that bed. I chew the legs when he’s not around.
Next year we’re moving to another house. A bigger one. Maybe that will make him happy. Hope so. Doubt it though. If I could speak， I’d tell him that too. I don’t get the big house thing； there’s only him and me. Us dogs don’t really care how big our kennel is， we just want to be near our human.
Anyway， I’m very excited about today. I’m gonna hang out with Charlie for a while. He’s my buddy from over the fence. We do fun stuff together every day. Mostly we chase birds. I hate those birds. And we chew old lady Jacobs’ laundry baskets. We’ve eaten three of them.
Then I might lie in the sun， and chew my foot for a while. I might have a power-nap too. Chasing birds makes me tired.
I reckon the Boss should lie in the sun with me， and chew his foot for a while. It’s relaxing. It might help with his stress. Whatever that is.
現在一定是早上；我饿了。我听到有人洗澡的声音，感到阳光照在我的背上，所以我猜老大已经醒了。我把头伸到床边，朝走廊望去。我也想洗个澡。有时，我会想办法进去，但是他不会让我这样做的。真无趣。现在的早上他不像以前那么开心了，一切都变了。我想这都是因为压力。
其实我并不清楚压力是什么，但是我知道那不是什么好东西。那是人类才有的东西。我曾经听他在电话里讲过这个。我其实也不清楚电话是什么，但是我知道那很适合用来咬。咬东西是我最喜欢做的事之一。
以前，我们每天早上都会来一场摔跤比赛。他会扯扯我的耳朵，而我会跳到他的头上去。在他上班前，我们会玩球，他下班后，我们也这么玩。他扔，我接。他扔，我接。多棒的一个游戏，多有趣。他会笑着说人类的话，而我会汪汪地叫着。
但最近，他似乎很暴躁。
有时候，我怀疑他是否还爱着我。无论如何，我都会舔他，因为他是我在这个世界上最喜欢的人类。看到他，我就很激动。当他抱着我时，我的尾巴就会不由自主地摇起来。我很疑惑为什么我的亲吻不能像以前一样让他高兴起来。
在过去那些美好的日子里，我们每天都会去公园散步。我们会和其他狗狗和人类玩。我一般会和凯尔文玩，凯尔文是一只胖胖的拉布拉多，而老大会和凯尔文的主人一起说笑，一个人类的雌性，她身上有股类似香草的味道。
如今，我们很少一起散步了。而且，在我们散步时，他都在讲电话。我讨厌那个电话。我要趁他不注意的时候吃了它。 我更喜欢我们住的第一所房子。那间小房子。我爱那个地方。他那时更快乐，他也不会因为我爬上沙发，或者咬他的鞋子而對我大吼大叫。我们曾经每晚都坐在沙发上看电视。好吧，我在睡觉，看电视的是他。他会把手放在我的头上，我喜欢那样。
现在我们住在一所大房子里，里面有一张笨笨的大沙发。一张只有人类才能坐的蠢沙发，狗是不能坐的。我不喜欢这所大房子，也不喜欢这张大沙发。他让我呆在那该死的光滑发亮的地板上。前几天我滑倒撞到了桌子，弄伤了我的鼻子。该死的地板。
在我小的时候，无论去哪里我们都在一起。我们会一起坐着那辆老旧的旅行车，我会把头伸出窗外，或者靠在他的大腿上。这是最好玩的事情。我不知道为什么人类不这样做。把头伸出窗外。难道他们不知道吗？
但是现在我再也不能把头伸出窗外了。严肃先生有了一辆高档的新车。显而易见，那也是狗不能踏足的地方。就算在极少数的情况下我可以坐进去，我还得躺在三张毯子上。也没有风吹过我的脸。那有什么意思呢？就像得到一块不能咬的骨头一样。蠢透了。
我们以前每个周末都会开着那辆老爷车去沙滩。我们一起冲浪。好吧，他冲浪，我追海鸥、玩海浪、在沙滩上翻滚。回家的路上，我那湿漉漉、毛茸茸、沾满沙子的身体会躺在车子的前座上，而他则为我在他身边而感到高兴。我也很爱那辆车。那些日子真令人怀念。我四岁以后我们就没这么做过了。那是五年前的事了。
他显然是太忙了。忙着享受功成名就的人生而没时间陪我玩。真高兴我没有功成名就，那看起来不太好玩。
他现在很少有快乐的时候，总是一副疲惫不堪，干不了任何事的样子。即使我拉他的袖子，或舔他的脸也无补于事。如果他弄走那愚蠢的滑地板、愚蠢的沙发、愚蠢的车，花多点时间跟我玩，他会开心点的。我也会。
我曾经睡在他的床尾，曾经，唉！但现在他也有了一张狗不得踏足的新床。当然，那床很贵，而我很显然会掉毛。天知道这是什么意思。我讨厌那张床。他不在时，我会咬那张床的床脚。
来年我们会搬去另一所更大的房子。也许那会让他开心点。希望如此吧。虽然我对此感到怀疑。如果我会说话，我也会这样告诉他。我不明白为什么要大房子。我们家只有我和他。我们狗真的不在乎我们的狗窝有多大，我们只想和我们的主人亲近。
无论如何，我今天很兴奋。我会和查理玩一会儿。他是我的好朋友，住在我隔壁。我们每天都会做许多有趣的事情。我们通常会追着小鸟玩。我讨厌那些小鸟。我们还会咬雅各布斯老太太的洗衣篮，我们已经咬了三个了。
然后我会躺着晒太阳，咬一会儿我的脚，也许还会睡个懒觉。追小鸟会让我筋疲力尽。
我觉得老大应该和我一起躺着晒太阳，咬一会儿他的脚。这能让人身心放松。这也许对他的压力有所帮助，无论那是什么。