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【Abstract】Through the ages， how to properly refuse other people is a hot topic and the rejection is an art. People in different regions have different ways of rejecting others. As an English learner， I did some research on the English rejection. This article will be introduced in two parts：the refusal ways and the influences of different factors on refusal.
【Key words】Research； Ways； Rejection
Introduction
With the economic development of China and the important introduction of “One belt， one road” by President Xi Jinping， we are getting closer and closer to European countries. For better communication， good politeness theory is essential. Rejection is a frequent use of language in everyday life. What’s more， China and European countries have great differences in this respect. As the saying goes， when in Rome， do as the Romans do， when we do business with Europeans， we should know their culture and use their language. So this article is focus on ways of rejection in English and hopes to give you reference.
1. Refusal ways
There are three main types of English rejection：direct refusal， indirect refusal and fuzzy refusal. It is very important to how to use it correctly in different situations and objects. Otherwise， the conversation will come to a deadlock and bring a bad ending.
1.1 The direct refusal
Direct refusal means that people are tough and firm in their refusal. There are few simple sentences for modifiers and additions， so the refusal is sound to be strong and there is no room for negotiation. Direct rejection often occurs in a specific context. Generally speaking， the speaker who thinks the other person’s request is unreasonable and who needn’t worried about their face and feelings can use the direct refusal.
1.2 The indirect refusal
Indirect refusal means that people are with modest attitude and mild character. Using modifiers and additions to minimize the other person’s face threatening. Under the circumstances， we need to express a little regret or thanks for being polite. Compared to direct rejection， using decline， turn down may be better and easier to be accepted.
1.3 The fuzzy refusal
Research shows that there is also a kind of fuzzy rejection in English. The speaker made it impossible for the other speaker to know his attitude at once when he said refusal， a multi-lever understanding is usually required. If you haven’t figured out how to deal with the problem or need take more time to think about it， you can try this method. 2. The influence of different factors on refusal
We should adopt different ways of rejection according to different situations and objects and we will illustrate the impact of different factors on rejection.
2.1 Scene：scene is an important factor that affects the way of rejection. Here are some familiar scenarios for our students.
（1） Refuse to watch a movie together. If it’s a friend in general， you can say “sorry， I have already seen the film.”If it’s a close friend， you can say “sorry， I’m afraid I don’t have time that day， let’s go to see it some other time.”
（2） Refuse to lend money. You can use these ways. The first one：“sorry， I had no extra money in my hand by the end of the month.” The second one：“You have to borrow too much money， I can lend you some.” The third one：“I can lend it to you but you should pay it on time.” The last one：“ You have none credibility， don’t borrow any more money from me.”
（3） Refuse to go home together. You can use “I’m afraid I have some other work to finish， if you’re in a hurry， go ahead.” Or “It is not on our way but we can go some way together.” Even “I am really sorry， I made an appointment with my friend today， we can go home together next time.”
2.2 Object：Boys and girls have some differences in rejection because their modes of thinking are different. In English， boys and girls often use “sorry” to be polite. Research findings， girls’ rejection is more direct， say no with a statement， the general way is：I would like to the reason for refusal apologize. English male students are usually gentleman， frequently use “I am glad to， but…” to say no.
Because of thinking and character， males and females have different choices of words and adopt different politeness strategies.
The way that adults and children refuse is also very different. Adults’ thinking is more comprehensive， refusing sounds more comfortable to people， while children think less carefully， so their rejection is more direct and sincere.
2.3 Culture：Culture has great influence on language. The way of rejection in English is also deeply influenced by culture. Let us illustrate this point with the culture differences between China and the west.
The Chinese are more concerned with saving face. Face means a lot in China， especially for Chinese men. But face in English is only used in the phrases such as “save face” or “lose face”. So the Chinese have to think more about rejection. What’s more， Chinese culture emphasizes group concept， western culture highlights individual concepts， so there is a huge difference between social factors and strategic choices. Compared with westerners， Chinese value relationships with others more， but they care less about individual performance. Chinese people are willing to sacrifice individual interests to achieve collective interests， and will be happy when people around you are happy. Westerners believe in freedom and will insist on themselves requests. They will be able to express their thoughts positively. As a result， the way they reject people is more straightforward.
They usually use：no way；not a chance；forget it；absolutely not；Not in your wildest dreams；save your breath；knock it off；I can’t take it anymore；What is the meaning of this？Are you crazy/insane/out of your mind？and so on.
2.4 Language environment：Language environment refers to the condition of a person when he speaks. Roughly， it has two effects on the conversation：restriction and supplement. Using the language environment exactly can improve the effectiveness of expression of dialogue.
Edward Hall， an American anthropologist， has put forward a culture of high context culture and low context culture in the study of culture dimensions. He believes that eastern countries such as China and Japan belong to the high context culture. The west is mostly low context culture.
Here are some characteristics about high context culture：1.connotation 2.the reaction is rarely exposed 3.strong interpersonal relationship 4.high commitment 5.time handing is highly flexible and so on；while low context culture are 1.apparent 2.the reaction is exposed 3.the relationship is not close 4.low commitment 5.time is highly organized and so on. In conclusion， the high context culture is a culture of collectivism， pursuing overall harmony， trying to avoid confrontation；the low context culture is a culture of individualism， taking more positive conflict to solve the problem.
Thus it can be seen， the difference of language environment restricts the choice of dialogue. So to some extent the speech that the speaker chooses can affect the listener’s cognition and understanding. The social nature of a person and his culture， the degree of education， the experience of life as well as the style of language all leads to increased information in language communication， even causes ambiguity. Therefore， when talking， you should pay attention to the communicative context.
3. Example
The Big Bang Theory is a popular TV series. The series follows the hilarious life of four otaku scientists and their beautiful neighbor. And the vivid language is impressive. Let’s take a look at the rejection strategy used in TV series.
Example 1：Amy：Can I have a bite of your burger？
Sheldon：Absolutely not.
This is direct rejection. Amy is Sheldon’s girlfriend， she wants to taste Sheldon’s burger. A plausible reason but refused without mercy. His refusal reflects the character’s cleanliness， comparison of self and don’t care about other people’s face. The unconscionable answer makes people laugh. Example 2：Leonard：The car was a gift…it was something you needed. I was happy to help you out.
Penny：And I really appreciate it， but now I don’t need it. So…here you go.
This is indirect rejection. Leonard is Penny’s boyfriend. He gives a car when she needs it to help her out of trouble. But now Penny can be financially independent， so she doesn’t want to rely on her boyfriend， and she was ready to return the car to him. First she thanked her boyfriend for her help， and then she says she doesn’t need the car herself politely. This avoids the embarrassment of direct rejection and at the same time expresses her gratitude.
Example 3：Sheldon：Would you like to see pictures from my trip？
Penny：I thought your phone got stolen.
This is indirect rejection. She came back by train and asked if they would like to see the pictures of the trip. People knew they’re not good. So penny changed his subject. This avoids the positive answer and reduces the face threatening.
We can see from the above analysis， the rejection in The Big Bang Theory has both direct and indirect rejection. The couples in the show consider each other’s emotions when rejecting each other. The use of the rejection strategy is related to a number of factors， such as gender， culture， personality and so on. We should use it flexibly according to different situations.
4. Conclusion
In conclusion， Englishmen and Chinese are very different in rejection and we can’t think about this question in Chinese style. There is still a long way to go to study on English rejection and it is not easy. This passage only makes some more points of view at the beginning of the study. I will continue to study and make more progress.
References：
[1]Seligman，S.D.，Kapp，R.A.，
【Key words】Research； Ways； Rejection
Introduction
With the economic development of China and the important introduction of “One belt， one road” by President Xi Jinping， we are getting closer and closer to European countries. For better communication， good politeness theory is essential. Rejection is a frequent use of language in everyday life. What’s more， China and European countries have great differences in this respect. As the saying goes， when in Rome， do as the Romans do， when we do business with Europeans， we should know their culture and use their language. So this article is focus on ways of rejection in English and hopes to give you reference.
1. Refusal ways
There are three main types of English rejection：direct refusal， indirect refusal and fuzzy refusal. It is very important to how to use it correctly in different situations and objects. Otherwise， the conversation will come to a deadlock and bring a bad ending.
1.1 The direct refusal
Direct refusal means that people are tough and firm in their refusal. There are few simple sentences for modifiers and additions， so the refusal is sound to be strong and there is no room for negotiation. Direct rejection often occurs in a specific context. Generally speaking， the speaker who thinks the other person’s request is unreasonable and who needn’t worried about their face and feelings can use the direct refusal.
1.2 The indirect refusal
Indirect refusal means that people are with modest attitude and mild character. Using modifiers and additions to minimize the other person’s face threatening. Under the circumstances， we need to express a little regret or thanks for being polite. Compared to direct rejection， using decline， turn down may be better and easier to be accepted.
1.3 The fuzzy refusal
Research shows that there is also a kind of fuzzy rejection in English. The speaker made it impossible for the other speaker to know his attitude at once when he said refusal， a multi-lever understanding is usually required. If you haven’t figured out how to deal with the problem or need take more time to think about it， you can try this method. 2. The influence of different factors on refusal
We should adopt different ways of rejection according to different situations and objects and we will illustrate the impact of different factors on rejection.
2.1 Scene：scene is an important factor that affects the way of rejection. Here are some familiar scenarios for our students.
（1） Refuse to watch a movie together. If it’s a friend in general， you can say “sorry， I have already seen the film.”If it’s a close friend， you can say “sorry， I’m afraid I don’t have time that day， let’s go to see it some other time.”
（2） Refuse to lend money. You can use these ways. The first one：“sorry， I had no extra money in my hand by the end of the month.” The second one：“You have to borrow too much money， I can lend you some.” The third one：“I can lend it to you but you should pay it on time.” The last one：“ You have none credibility， don’t borrow any more money from me.”
（3） Refuse to go home together. You can use “I’m afraid I have some other work to finish， if you’re in a hurry， go ahead.” Or “It is not on our way but we can go some way together.” Even “I am really sorry， I made an appointment with my friend today， we can go home together next time.”
2.2 Object：Boys and girls have some differences in rejection because their modes of thinking are different. In English， boys and girls often use “sorry” to be polite. Research findings， girls’ rejection is more direct， say no with a statement， the general way is：I would like to the reason for refusal apologize. English male students are usually gentleman， frequently use “I am glad to， but…” to say no.
Because of thinking and character， males and females have different choices of words and adopt different politeness strategies.
The way that adults and children refuse is also very different. Adults’ thinking is more comprehensive， refusing sounds more comfortable to people， while children think less carefully， so their rejection is more direct and sincere.
2.3 Culture：Culture has great influence on language. The way of rejection in English is also deeply influenced by culture. Let us illustrate this point with the culture differences between China and the west.
The Chinese are more concerned with saving face. Face means a lot in China， especially for Chinese men. But face in English is only used in the phrases such as “save face” or “lose face”. So the Chinese have to think more about rejection. What’s more， Chinese culture emphasizes group concept， western culture highlights individual concepts， so there is a huge difference between social factors and strategic choices. Compared with westerners， Chinese value relationships with others more， but they care less about individual performance. Chinese people are willing to sacrifice individual interests to achieve collective interests， and will be happy when people around you are happy. Westerners believe in freedom and will insist on themselves requests. They will be able to express their thoughts positively. As a result， the way they reject people is more straightforward.
They usually use：no way；not a chance；forget it；absolutely not；Not in your wildest dreams；save your breath；knock it off；I can’t take it anymore；What is the meaning of this？Are you crazy/insane/out of your mind？and so on.
2.4 Language environment：Language environment refers to the condition of a person when he speaks. Roughly， it has two effects on the conversation：restriction and supplement. Using the language environment exactly can improve the effectiveness of expression of dialogue.
Edward Hall， an American anthropologist， has put forward a culture of high context culture and low context culture in the study of culture dimensions. He believes that eastern countries such as China and Japan belong to the high context culture. The west is mostly low context culture.
Here are some characteristics about high context culture：1.connotation 2.the reaction is rarely exposed 3.strong interpersonal relationship 4.high commitment 5.time handing is highly flexible and so on；while low context culture are 1.apparent 2.the reaction is exposed 3.the relationship is not close 4.low commitment 5.time is highly organized and so on. In conclusion， the high context culture is a culture of collectivism， pursuing overall harmony， trying to avoid confrontation；the low context culture is a culture of individualism， taking more positive conflict to solve the problem.
Thus it can be seen， the difference of language environment restricts the choice of dialogue. So to some extent the speech that the speaker chooses can affect the listener’s cognition and understanding. The social nature of a person and his culture， the degree of education， the experience of life as well as the style of language all leads to increased information in language communication， even causes ambiguity. Therefore， when talking， you should pay attention to the communicative context.
3. Example
The Big Bang Theory is a popular TV series. The series follows the hilarious life of four otaku scientists and their beautiful neighbor. And the vivid language is impressive. Let’s take a look at the rejection strategy used in TV series.
Example 1：Amy：Can I have a bite of your burger？
Sheldon：Absolutely not.
This is direct rejection. Amy is Sheldon’s girlfriend， she wants to taste Sheldon’s burger. A plausible reason but refused without mercy. His refusal reflects the character’s cleanliness， comparison of self and don’t care about other people’s face. The unconscionable answer makes people laugh. Example 2：Leonard：The car was a gift…it was something you needed. I was happy to help you out.
Penny：And I really appreciate it， but now I don’t need it. So…here you go.
This is indirect rejection. Leonard is Penny’s boyfriend. He gives a car when she needs it to help her out of trouble. But now Penny can be financially independent， so she doesn’t want to rely on her boyfriend， and she was ready to return the car to him. First she thanked her boyfriend for her help， and then she says she doesn’t need the car herself politely. This avoids the embarrassment of direct rejection and at the same time expresses her gratitude.
Example 3：Sheldon：Would you like to see pictures from my trip？
Penny：I thought your phone got stolen.
This is indirect rejection. She came back by train and asked if they would like to see the pictures of the trip. People knew they’re not good. So penny changed his subject. This avoids the positive answer and reduces the face threatening.
We can see from the above analysis， the rejection in The Big Bang Theory has both direct and indirect rejection. The couples in the show consider each other’s emotions when rejecting each other. The use of the rejection strategy is related to a number of factors， such as gender， culture， personality and so on. We should use it flexibly according to different situations.
4. Conclusion
In conclusion， Englishmen and Chinese are very different in rejection and we can’t think about this question in Chinese style. There is still a long way to go to study on English rejection and it is not easy. This passage only makes some more points of view at the beginning of the study. I will continue to study and make more progress.
References：
[1]Seligman，S.D.，Kapp，R.A.，