合上《天蓝色的彼岸》,我第一次如此认真地思考死亡。小时候住在外婆家,周边都是些太公太婆,他们老了,面对死亡也并不遥远。前家的太婆去世了,后家的太公也走了。有一天,那个经常给我糖吃的外婆在睡梦中,眼睛那么一闭,就躺在了那黑黢黢的棺材里了,她面色安详,只是永远也不会再睁开眼睛,看到太阳了。我头一回感受到时间和生命的无情,伤感就若黑暗,绝望吞噬着我,我感到害怕却又无助。我并不想这样,也不喜欢这样, Closing Azure Shore, for the first time, I seriously think about death. When I was a child, I lived in a grandma’s house. I was surrounded by some grandchildren. They were old and not far away from death. Before the death of his grandmother, after the family’s grandmother also left. One day, my grandma, who often gave me candy, was in her sleep. Her eyes were so closed that she lay in the black coffin. She looked serene, but she would never open her eyes and see the sun again. For the first time I felt the callousness of time and life, the sadness was darkness, desperation swallowed me, and I felt scared but helpless. I do not want this, do not like this,